Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Your Black College Students: Steppin' Out On A Relationship
There is a saying that warns us never to “lie, cheat or steal”, but there are no sayings that have stopped the middle man- cheating (in the context of relationships) from being the reason for, and looming over more than 40% of failed relationships between men and women.
Many people consider it the unforgivable act and the ultimate end to a union. Cheating is regarded as an act of selfishness, of absent-mindedness, or to some…a way to find out how strong a relationship is.
Cheating is just as prevalent in youth/college-aged relationships, as it is in marriage. The statistics for both are very close in number, and responses are quite similar. What does the abundance of cheating in youthful relationships say about the cheating patterns, and likelihood of growing up to cheat on a spouse in marriage?
I performed a simple Facebook question and answer survey, and invited my friends between the ages of 16 and 25 to respond and comment about their thoughts on cheating.
Out of all of the participating respondents:
60% of the respondents between the ages of 16 and 25 had been cheated on at least once.
20% of the respondents had been cheated on more than once.
60% of males admitted to having cheated on a partner at least once.
20% of females admitted to having cheated on a partner at least once.
70% of respondents agree with the “once a cheater, always a cheater” saying.
60% of females stayed with a partner who once cheated on them.
30% of males stayed with a partner who once cheated on them.
50% of the respondents had relationships that ended because of cheating.
70% of the respondents agreed that cheating means purposefully hurting a partner.
80% of the respondents agreed that the decision to cheat is harbored by some sort of insecurity.
100% of the respondents agreed that cheating is a selfish act.
100% of the respondents agreed that cheating is not worth it in the end.
These statistics speak volumes for the effect of cheating on trust issues for people that have been cheated on, and potentially even for the success rate of couples between the ages of 16-25. More girls are likely to forgive their cheating boyfriends, while more boys consider cheating the ultimate unforgivable act. Of course there are exceptions to all of these statistics, but from the survey and the responses that I received, I can conclude that cheating is a more serious problem than some may dismiss it as, and a huge contribution (or rather hindrance) to the success rate of future couples.
This is not to say that the act of cheating is right or wrong. These opinions vary per individual, but the general consensus is that selfishness and insecurity have a lot to do with the reasons why people cheat. Although most would rather not admit to this, it may be an important underlying cause.